Living With Integrity

The scriptures are resplendent with examples of integrity: Daniel, Esther, Joseph (the one with the coat), Joseph Smith, Hyrum, and so many more.  Integrity #3 suggests reading the stories of these people and others and reflecting on a time when you have lived this way even against the popular thing to do.

Why is it so difficult to think of a time when I have been so blatantly full of integrity recently? To be fair, no time comes to mind that I have acted outside the bounds of integrity.  I think that it has become a way of life for me.  I can honestly say that I do not care what the popular view is when I am choosing how to act.  That has absolutely no bearing, other than to cause me to grieve for the world when I see it trending away from virtue.

I do recall strongly twice in my college days when my integrity was questioned.  Once was by my French teacher who thought I had slipped the homework into the stack late.  The second was by a religion professor who was not convinced that the hymn I turned in as an original composition was my own work.  I cannot put to words the turmoil I felt at their calm accusals.  Even though I knew that I had acted appropriately, I would not rest until I had not only regained the grade that I deserved, but the trust of the accusers.  To have my integrity questioned was the deepest blow I feel that I could have received.  I honor and uphold my integrity.  It is a part of my being and I'm sure it has come at a cost.

Job put it best: "Til I die I will not remove my integrity from me."

Overcoming Opposition

The title of this post was also the title of our lesson in Young Women today.  It was a great, eye-opening lesson, beginning with some painful stories of real people with real problems and ending with them learning to accept their life and to be grateful for where their challenges had led them.  My thoughts were led to this:  what if you had never had any trials?  What if you had coasted through life, constantly healthy, beautiful, good, happy, content, with the perfect family, the perfect friends, no losses, no hard choices, with money and comforts, without grief...  If this were your life's story, would you be the person you are now?  Would you go back and change your life to that if you could?  Would you want to be the kind of person that would come out of that lack of experience?

The first scripture that I ever read on my own and had a little "awakening" over was 2 Nephi 3:13:

And if ye shall say there is no law, ye shall also say there is no sin.  If there is no sin, ye shall also say there is no righteousness.  And if there be no righteousness there be no happiness.  And if there be no righteousness nor happiness there be no punishment nor misery.  And if these things are not there is no God.  And if there is no God we are not, neither the earth; for there could have been no creation of things, neither to act nor to be acted upon; wherefore, all things must have vanished away.

This is opposites in a nutshell.  How could you know that your life was blissful if you had never experienced anything else?  How could you make something wonderful out of your life if there was no risk of making something terrible?

From the same chapter of scripture come these, verses 23 - 27, about Adam and Eve, had they not fallen:

Wherefore, they would have remained in a state of innocence, having no joy, for they knew no misery; doing no good, for they knew no sin.

{this may seem OK for a day, but would get very boring...}

But behold, all things have been done in the wisdom of him who knoweth all things.

Adam fell that men might be; and men are that they might have joy.

{we are not intended for boredom}

And the Messiah cometh in the fulness of time, that he may redeem the children of men from the fall.  And because that they are redeemed from the fall they have become free forever, knowing good from evil; to act for themselves and not to be acted upon, save it be by the punishment of the law at the great and last day, according to the commandments which God hath given.

{when we make mistakes, Christ can help us

work through and over come them}

Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient to man.  And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, though the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.

This last verse is the blessing and the curse of agency, freedom to choose.  Choose Wisely!

Stretching Myself

Knowledge project #3 says to memorize some hymns and learn to conduct them.  This is an excellent idea for a person who is not practiced at this sort of thing, but before I became the miamaid advisor, I was the ward music chairman, the sacrament meeting hymn conductor, and the Relief Society music person... all at the same time, all for a couple of years.  I would think that this one wouldn't really count for me.

But then our ward choir pianist needed some time off.  The only person qualified and able to play for us was the ward choir director.  That left me to lead the choir.  How was I the obvious choice?  I do not lead choirs!  I have never led more than a quick sacrament number by some youth or the primary singing, "I'm so glad when Daddy comes home."

The church has a website with some suggestions for choral conducting, so I've tried to apply the stuff I read there.  I've led several practices now, and we had our first performance a week and a half ago.  I thought it went well, and Nick (my hubbie) said I looked like a pro.  I definitely look down at the music way too much and have to think too hard to be very good, but I suppose that I could get better with practice.  Lots and lots of practice.

A Daughter of God

This morning I met with a small group of young mothers to discuss "Living Right for a Meaningful Life", headed by one of my favorite examples of such a life, Debbie Johns.  The original ideas came from these talks by Richard G. Scott:

The Power of a Strong Testimony

Living Right

To Acquire Knowledge and the Strength to Use It Wisely

All are definitely recommended reading.

The overwhelming thesis that we pulled from these readings is this: we exist to have joy.  How great is that?  Our whole purpose, and the purpose of our Heavenly Father, is our joy, happiness, immortality, exaltation...  If there is anything in our path that seems to prevent that, we can remember that God wants us to be happy.  Being that He is all-powerful, His wants can be fulfilled, but he leaves some of that to us.  With Him on our side, we can make it happen, no matter the impediment (Romans 8:31).  

Why would my personal happiness be so important to the God of the Universe?  Because I am His daughter, endowed by this Heavenly Father with divine attributes by spiritual birth (Romans 8:16-17).  Like any good parent, he wants to teach me to use those gifts that he has given and to make them an integral part of myself.

Divine Nature Value Experience #1 asks that I list the divine qualities of a daughter of God from a selection of scriptures.  Here is what I have come up with.

A daughter of God is:

created in the image of God         humble

beloved of heavenly parents        submissive

divine in nature and destiny       gentle

eternally female                          easy to entreat

accountable                                 thankful

nurturing                                     faithful

knowledgeable                            hopeful

virtuous                                       confident

diligent                                        charitable

temperate                                      kind

patient

Although these are gifts that I have inherited from my divine parent, I can choose to let them atrophy.  A couple that I could and should practice more diligently are being temperate and patient (sorry Bethelle, I'm really trying) and also humility.  Rather than accept that I'm just not a very humble person in some situations, I can instead know that I have that divine gift and should take better advantage of the gift by using it and striving to be better.

The Tongue of Angels

Have you ever been at a funeral and heard the departed eulogized as someone who never spoke an unkind word about any other person?

Okay, so I really haven't either. I think it may actually be kind of rare.

So, my goal (Integrity 2) is to live and speak in such a way that at my funeral someone who knew me well could say, "She never said an unkind thing about anyone. She was always encouraging. Always positive." (My next step in this goal aside from not saying negative things is to actually begin saying positive encouraging things, but that's later.)

If you'd like to join me, here is some excellent reading:
Your Name is Safe in Our Home
The Tongue of Angels
James 3

But before I go off to actually try this out, I have a question: What do you do when a person in a position of respect starts to gossip and expects you to join in? Let's say that defending the person being gossipped about just makes the gossipping worse. What do you do?

A little more action

So far I am off to a great start with one down and 13 to go!  What I need is a little friendly encouragement!

And with that, I'd like to introduce to this blog my good friend, Elise Neville.  She is going to contribute to this blog as she does her personal progress too!  Enjoy!

Good Works #6

Last night I did not go to young women's (youth night at church) as I usually do on Wednesdays, but as Nick is in the habit of taking care of Rigby and Bethelle on those nights as often as possible, I took advantage by sewing four pair of basketball shorts for the youth who will perform in the upcoming regional dance festival.  I sat pinning, cutting, and sewing, listening to "Memoir of Jane Austen" on my iPod, and thinking a little about this blog and what items to complete first.

I particularly thought about Good Works #6 which involves doing three hours of service outside of your family.  I mused over this for quite a while.  As Nick is the elders quorum president, he is gone/busy quite a bit.  Much of his time outside of that is used in finishing our unfinished home (we are currently tiling the master bathroom, which has been so many 2x4s for over two years now).  Sewing the shorts together, I thought, "When will I ever find three hours to work on something outside of my family?"  That would, of course, be so great to do, but how would I get away from the kids and my home responsibilities for that long?

It was not until today that I saw the irony in the whole business.  How blind can I be?  Here are the results of my three hours of service to someone outside of my family:

The dance festival is both a blessing and a burden.  Hopefully more of the former.  I think I eased a little of the latter with my three hours.  I hope not only to perform similar service in the future, but to recognize it as I do it.  When you don't realize that you are doing service as a part of your quotidian routine, you might get down on yourself for its lack.  Recognizing it helps me to recognize my worth and contributions.